Wednesday, January 30, 2008

*blush*

Picture it. My living room. Yesterday.

There I was sitting in my well used recliner ... (well used since pregnancy and breast feeding) I was watching Ellen...a feat in and of itself, as the girl child was playing by her lonesome, and the boy child was outside helping his daddy-o with some farming chores.

Ellen happened to have a young guest who was a champion guitar hero player ( for those who don't know, Guitar Hero is a Nintendo game that has become a VERY popular pastime for some people....we don't have any video games as of yet in this household, and I'm gonna try to keep it that way for as loooong as possible...anywho) This boy was playing incredibly fast and my eyes were wide with amazement.

I had been having a slow day, hadn't yet got dressed, and was still sporting my fuzzy blue housecoat and pink slippers. Oh and a nursing bra...of course.

So there I sat wide eyed and with my incredible multi-tasking abilities I was preparing to feed Eden. I checked my wrist for my 'feeding bracelet' (a reminder as to which breast she fed from last....I have no ability to recall such information...my brain is fried from 3 pregnancies..) I whipped open the clasp on my bra and let 'er all hang out...you know, cause it's my house...and I was multi-tasking. No need to hid her under a bushel..no, I'm gonna let 'er shine.

Anyway, I wasn't absolutely positive that I had switched the bracelet to the proper wrist...so I went ahead and groped myself...to feel for fullness....(again, home alone...no need to be careful..)

Here's where it gets good. The music from the tv got louder, the boy was playing a heavy metal type song .. dee del lee del leeeeeeeee...waaaaaaa..... it was wailing and screaming out the speakers and there I was with my hands full (ahem) so I didn't bother turning it down.

Gabriel came waltzing into the living room and I said 'oh hi bud...where's your dad?'

A voice very different from The Hubs piped up a foot behind me, and said 'Oh no, it's just me Leanne, .....WHOOOO, So sorry, so sorry, so sorry... oh ..ummm... uhhh''

It's was Dwight's uncle... his truck driving, macho, gruffy, old(er) uncle. And he'd seen. It. All.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a real prude when it comes to feeding, but I do like to cover up when other men are around...any other men..... And here was a man who'd try his darndest to never witness such an event as a momma nursing her babe, and he'd gotten an eye full...darn near got his eye poked out really...(my girls have grown, to say the least...ahem.)

Just picture what the poor guy saw. A tired momma, sitting in her la-z-boy, with her old housecoat flung open, exposing not only her legs, but her tired boobs... Her hands feeling and groping her girls, while the heavy metal music blasted from the tv set. My eye makeup had not been removed from the previous day and my raccoon eyes and matted hair were dy-no-mite.

What a sight to behold.

Then came the uncomfortable conversation after the viewing.... I kinda wished he'd just ran for the door screaming. But, no. He had to try to make it better by attempting a regular conversation. It was ... delightful. ack.

12 comments:

Mom of 4 Busy Kids said...

Nice.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

That's funny! My father-in-law walked in on me a few times and I KNOW he was way more embarassed than me....he turned totally red!
All moms that have breast-fed can really appreciate this story....loved it

DanaB said...

Oh NO! LOL!

Your storytelling in this is just hysterical lol--yep we've all been there on some level, some more *ahem* exposed than others LOL!

May as well laugh n laugh hard about it, what's done is done lol...whew...

Let me say congrats on that ADORABLE baby, she's beautiful--but you know that :) Sweet name, too.

~~

Dana said...

OH my gosh! I can SOOOO relate! I loved your story and feel like that could have been me! On a side note....we do have Guitar Hero here.....quite the treat for the ears! I think I MUST be getting old!

Our 4 Munchkins...6 pigtales & a buzzcut! said...

Oh my Goodness Girl! You poor thing!! I too would have been red in the face.

Elizabeth said...

I cannot laugh this time- I would have been mortified! I agree, it would have better if he ran for the door screaming :) Here's hoping for a better day today :)

girlebert said...

Oh my gosh.., I am laughing hysterically.., Your story telling is.., out of this world. When you have more "free time" you need to take this up and make some dough while you brighten peoples days!!!

Judi said...

LOL! I am not laughing at you of course. I hope he quickly forgets, otherwise family get togethers could be awkward in the future! :)

Melissa said...

LOL, that made me laugh so hard. Thanks for brightening my day! That would so embarrasing.

Shiloh, Janalynn & Zeke said...

Ahhh Leanne you never cease to amaze me! Coming from someone who has no shortege in the "girls" category, this embarressing moment also happened to me...so i am laughing/crying with you knowing it will again happen to me one day!! Love you and your new baby so adorable!!! JL :)

Pam said...

Hey, at least that embarrassing moment made for great blog fodder! Thanks for a good laugh!

Anonymous said...

You are just hyterical - while others would never tell of that horrid day again - you include us all and allow us to feel your embarassment and at the same time laugh right along with you. Thanks for that!!! Love ya - BK