So it wasn't on the to-do list ...but it really had to be done. It's a sick part of the country life, not often discussed... but a necessity nonetheless.
We had our friends Tom and Christin over for dinner lastnight and after enjoying our dinner, I had to put Ashy to bed and Christin had to make a pit stop. Wellllll wouldn't you know it, the plumbing starts to act up when guests are over AND when they are sitting on the potty having a tinkle. Poor Christin, didn't know what to do when the water began to bubble beneath her. The toilet nearly overflowed,and luckily Tom was on the alert with the plunger and saved the day! (Let me mention, before I completely mortify Christin, that it was the plumbing, and certainly not her!!)
Well Dwight and I were worried about things getting worse and decided it would be a good idea to empty the ol' septic tank. You city slickers get sewers, we get an old tank that brews and bubbles and sometimes can't handle it's contents any longer. 'BRING FORTH THE HUBS...'
Allow me to give it to y'all, re-neck styyyle. (please read as a southern red-neck would write..)
It sure was a rainin' this mornin'. My Maan was out ther', diggin' like no temorry. We's been havin' some problems with the poop tank. Er at least the piipes. Gosh, I ain't never been so m'barrassed as when we's did have some folks over fer supper last yesterday and the pooper started bubblin'...While she was on it. Darn Tootin...wouldn't ya know it, you'd a thought the way my hubs uses that thing, it woulda' been 'im, but a'course not. Anywho, he's out ther diggin' and yells at me through the door, 'It's a huge lid honey, Don't think I can lift 'er.' Well, shoot, if ma maan can't lift 'er, nobody can... He went and got his pappy and they 'cided they ought'a get the jack. They done dismantled ma porch ..took the stairs off, just to get at the dang thing. They had BETTER done get that thing put back together, er ther's gonna be hack to pay, I tell ya's. So they gott'er jacked up and wooooweee, I had to laght my purdyest candle ta the beat the stench...I tell ya, it made ma eyes run. Ya see aout her' in the boonies, we can't see the point in hirin' it done, when we's got a perfectly good spreader in the back shed. Uh-huh, you got it, we done it all by r'selves!! My husband makes me so dog-on proud! Ther' he was, up to his knees in mud diggin' out 'r tank. Lid was off and the suckin' pipe was in, she sucked 'er right clean! Aa was in charge a flushin' poopers, so when my maan yelled, aa was a runnin' up an down the stairs, flushin all the while! hyuck! When it wer' all done, my maan surely knew he just had to put the porch back togetha'... he was so happy...he gave me a big grin and I was just feelin' his luuve, so I done my womanly duty and made 'im a big ol' breakfast. It was just super-dooper.
It was a red-necks dream come true.