Saturday, February 10, 2007

Skinny Jeans...

12 pounds. I have literally had 12 packages of butter fall off of my thunder thighs. Unbelievable. I'm almost ready to attempt a fitting in my skinny jeans...for two reasons...firstly, I know they won't fit, and it will spur me on to continue the loss, and secondly I need to vacuum the dust off of them. It's been a while...

Ode to the Skinny Jeans

I know I've abandoned you. First it was the chip crumbs I would wipe upon were so gracious about it..never said a word. I know there were days when I stretched your beautiful dark wash, pulling and forcing you around my hips, and you just did as you were told..."Fit, darn you..Fiiiiit! Your button was left open on occasion and a sweater was pulled over you to disguise you...and still..silence from your beautiful self.

I used you, and I'm sorry. You should have told me to put the chips away...and that too much baking will eventually result in an addiction to carbs...but I wouldn't have listened anyway. I was in my glory, having my cake and eating it too. I guess you tried to tell me in your quiet ways, when you cut off my circulation, when you pushed my muffin top into my throat..

Then came that day....when I knew, we were no longer friends. I despised you for for making me admit to myself that I was F.A.T. You were hidden, in the deep dark depths of the cavernous closet, never to see the light of day. There were days when I thought of putting you in the green bag destined for amity, but you just looked too new, and your wash, Oh your beautiful wash...I couldn't bring myself to do it.

And today, I am so thankful. Thankful you never made it into the bag, thankful for your quiet and painful words, thankful you've spurred me on to this point.

I'll see you soon my friend....we will be together again.


TeaMouse said...

I love your Ode to Skinny Jeans - too funny and very very true!


Thanks Teamouse :)