Saturday, October 28, 2006

"things"

Today I did something I definitely should not have. I must start the story by first telling you about yesterday.

I recently saw the Dr regarding some vicious heartburn I 'd been having (particularly during Ashy's pregnancy...it got so bad I would get a bloody taste in my mouth and on the delivery bed I was vomiting pure blood...) I did still get some after the pregnancy was over and I thought it'd be better to ask the Dr about it, rather than just letting it go. She booked me in for an upper GI series x-ray. That was yesterday. For those of you who have not experienced this, it involves drinking an incredibly disgusting drink that tastes of chalk and salt combined, fizzes like sprite and weighs a tonne. Anyway - down the hatch it went. The Dr. took pictures of my stomach and esophagus while I was standing and sitting then it was over.

Before I had gone to the appointment, I was talking to my sister in law and friend, Aliesha. She is an x-ray Technician in Hamilton. She is very familiar with the procedure and told me that after I swallowed the Barium I had to drink LOTS of water so that it would 'pass' easily. I've heard of people who've suffered with the Barium becoming like cement in their intestines....and that wasn't going to be me. No sirreee.

Well I drank lots of fluids yesterday and figured 'things' would be on schedule this morning as per the norm. Welllll I was mistaken (or so I thought) .... I had fixed breakfast for the kids and was thinking about how 'things' should be moving along about this time...butt (ahem) they weren't. Soooooo..... I took 'things' into my own hands (well not literally .....sick!) and decided that I would not like to go through a cement like experience. Therefore ...you guessed it, I reached for he laxatives.

Now the only reason I even own a small box of these pills (yes pills , certainly not the suppositories, thankyou .......sick!) Is from post-pregnancy, when as some of you ladies know, 'things' can be quite painful and a little help is always good. So this morning when I read the box, it said...Adults take 1-3 as necessary. Wellll I thought somewhere in the middle would be good and I took 2. They said it would take about 12 hrs to take affect.

Approximately 2 minutes later... 'things' decided to move along ON THEIR OWN. Well shoot. Now what the heck was I gonna do. I couldn't very well puke the little pills up....so I let them be.

What a poor idea that was. Right now I sit here thinking puking was a brilliant idea.

Laxatives work people. Do not try these at home, Do not pass go without stopping to use the pooper 15 times before lunch. If I haven't lost weight by the end of the day, I'll be shocked. Remember that 'gourmet salad' I was talking about in my last post, well shoot....I hardly had enough time to enjoy it, and my body certainly didn't get anything from it...salad, schmalad.

Oooo, gotta go...

1 comment:

Mom of 4 Busy Kids said...

HA HA HA HA HA...that made me laugh so hard....you poor girl.