Ever since I began this diet, I have had nightmares.
They involve my fellow dieting peeps surrounding me in a circle as I am voraciously consuming a piece of pie...they are yelling, "INTERVENTION, ...INTERVENTION!!!"....
I quickly look up at their angry faces with crumbs upon my lips, as the pie piece slides out of my hands to the floor below. I cry sweet, sugary tears and realize I have only hurt myself, and the remainder of pie in my mouth spews out with a small whimper.
"Boo hoo, moo, moo, moo...Boo hoo" I explain. Unable to sound like a person but rather, a large hay munching bovine...
My peeps look upon me with disapproval and disgust, and I am left reviewing my choices, and chewing my cud.
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I think perhaps I have stumbled upon some deep, inner meaning to my diet nightmares...it's profound...
I am secretly wishing I were a cow.
Really ..it makes sense...then I wouldn't have to explain my burgeoning belly to anyone, and my farmer would think I'm top notch, ...eats lots, raises good calves, doesn't mind a messy pen. I would be worth my weight in ...well...milk.
5 comments:
Why don't you just get pregnant, and get back to the good old days of big macs, and cinnabons?? Sounds like a WAY better plan than eating blackened parmesan tomatoes. Don't ya think??
lol...mmm, sure does.. and maybe, just maybe I'd be blessed with the '9 month morning sickness' routine again, and could just lose weight that way...
Great idea, I'll get right on that.. :)
Haha, you're funny :)
But realise that cows don't get to see their calves that often, and sometimes barely ever...
LOL! You always make me laugh. I need it today. Too much sickness going on at my house. Thanks for the prayers. The little man seems to be doing some better. I think your onto something about wishing you were a cow. I know I wish I was and then I wouldn't have to try so hard to lose. Alas...I am not. So....I will keep trying (mostly failing) at getting off this 40 lbs!
I too am struggling with weight issues..but why fret over the little things in life it will come..eventually.
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