Eggplosive...

I was thinking about how nutritious and delicious they are. I turned off the heat from beneath the boiling pot of eggs and plunged the white ovals into cool water.

I waited a couple seconds before retrieving an egg, so it would be cool enough to handle. I lovingly chopped it's head off and plunked it into an egg cup. The children followed me to their seats and I spooned the bits of white and yellow into their mouths like little birds, so as to not allow any shells to mix in.

Ashlyn gobbled it up, enjoying every warm bite, whilst the mini man decided he'd like his a little more hard boiled.

After Ashlyn finished her breakfast, I went back to the pot and cut another one open. It too was soft boiled.

This is where I made the fatal error. I went against my best judgement and decided to cook the egg further. Without putting it back in boiling water.

The stupid part of my brain won, and convinced the smarter half that, because I had chopped the tip off, it wouldn't explode. My hands followed what stupid was telling them to do, and put the egg, cup and all, into the microwave. Or the bomb box as I now lovingly refer to it as.

You know where I'm going with this.

I put it in for 2o seconds and waited with a clenched jaw and tight fists.....my smarter half knew it was the inevitable.

Lo and behold, 20 seconds passed and no explosion. It worked. I complimented my stupid half, and apologized for calling it stupid...It was now closing in on my smarter half...Pretty soon I'll be a genius I thought to myself.

I removed the egg cup from the bomb box and set it on the counter. I picked up the small silver spoon and plunged it into the egg....

!!!!!!!!!!BLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't see...everything was cloudy...It was a moment of sheer terror. I was blind. What would I do, how would I cope with 2 small childr... oh wait, blink, blink...I can see...I CAN SEE!!!! OH Thank you Lord!

I ran to the bathroom sink and splashed cold water on my eyes and face, where the burning egg had hit. My face was caked from my hair to my neck in tiny bits of cooked egg. After clearing the egg debris from my eyeballs, I went back into the kitchen, with my new-found vision, and saw the damage.

Who knew a little egg could make such a sickeningly disastrous mess.

I know what I'll be doing all day...

Bed Head covered in egg...

It hit every nook and cranny, the ceiling, the walls, the cupboards, the coffee maker, the bomb box, the sink and all over the window.

I promptly had a shower, and came out to meet Ashlyn ( who had been standing in the kitchen during the explosion....but was far enough away to not get hit, thank goodness) and she was saying...

'BOOM!...hahahahaa....BOOM!.....hahahahaha....BOOM!....'